Tiili

The puzzlepieces are falling into place..

2008-08-04T11:30:00.004+02:00

Finally! Just got the call from the temp agency that I've been offered the job I've applied for today. I'll start working in a week, so I have one more week of "holiday" to enjoy. After that, things will be quite busy as school starts the week after that again. Now that school and work is sorted, I can breathe easy.

I've started settling into my apartment as well. I've got most of my stuff on the attic, so I'm carrying them down as I go along, rather than having tons of boxes standing down here. Got all of the big furniture set up and most of the kitchenware brought down.

Being back in Norway is weird. It has finally sunk in, but as I'm mostly by myself in my apartment, its still a bit surreal. I'm already noticing the culture differences and miss France a lot. Talked to James yesterday and he said he was thinking of asking me to go to the pub for a few, but then he realized I wasn't there anymore. I miss you too!

Rob may come visit me in September. I can't wait! I think he'll like Trondheim. I can finally introduce him to Domi as well.

Big event of the day: going to the post office.

*Siri*

Who needs enemies with friends like these?

2008-08-03T22:28:00.003+02:00

I pity you if to make humor you need to belittle your so called friends in the eyes of others.

I'm sorry...

2008-07-17T01:27:00.002+02:00

I just poured my heart out
there's bits of it on the floor
And I take what's left of it and rinse it under cold water
And call him up for more

And I say baby, yes I feel stupid to call you, but I'm lonely
And I don't think you meant it when you said you couldn't love me
And I thought maybe if I kissed the way you do, you'd feel it too

He said I'm sorry
so sorry
I'm sorry
so sorry

He grabs my wrists
as my fingers turn into angry fists
and I whisper why can't you love me, I'll change for you
I'll play the part

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is parts of the lyrics from one of my favorite songs at the moment, "I'm sorry" by Maria Mena. The song is very simple but its the lyrics that really grab me. She sings about things people think but don't really say or talk about. How many times have we changed ourselves in one way or another to become something or someone that another person wants us to be? Personally, I can say: LOTS of times! Sometimes its quite unconscious yet other times not at all. "If I do this or say this, maybe he will like me more, maybe he will see me like I see him, feel for me like I feel for him". Its amazing what we do to be liked, not only by the other sex but by people we look up to or people we want to look up to us.

I've asked myself why I do it, and I think I've come to the conclusion that it is kind of a coping-mechanism for me. When I was younger, I always felt socially-awkward ( I still do ) and I didn't have a lot of friends. After being miserable in school for 9 years, I started a "city-school" to get away from the town I grew up and the people there and decided to make some changes in my life. And I think thats when I started changing my personality a bit as well. Where I am in life at the moment, I think a lot of people think they know me, but they don't. Heck, I don't even know if I know myself. I've been single for quite a while now and have sometimes asked myself "Why? Am I not "girlfriend material"?" But then I think, how can I make people love me for who I am if I don't even know who I am myself? And how will I ever get to know ME if I, like a chameleon, change my colors to fit in?

Curses in disguise...

2008-07-12T00:26:00.004+02:00

That things can be a blessing in disguise is a known thing. However, as I've learned today, things sure as fuck can be a curse in disguise too. 3 years ago, my mom and dad decided to place a bid for an apartment downtown Trondheim that they were either going to use as an investment or if I wanted to, I could take over. As I at that time was living in a crappy and cold apartment which I rented, it really was a no-brainer. Getting into the real-estate market can be a great investment, especially for me who is still quite young. I've now had the apartment for 3 years, lived in it myself for 1,5 of those, and rented it out while I've been living in France. I'm the one in charge of the apartment and all the payments, so my parents are only guarantors for my mortgage.
Now, while I've been gone, the intrest in my bank has increased significantly. I've been aware of the increase, but I've never really thought of how much it will actually increase my monthly payments. My dad contacted the bank a while ago to ensure that the monthly payments wouldn't increase with the result that what I'm paying is mostly intrests. As I'm going back to school this fall, I had planned on requesting paying only intrests, making my monthly payments lower than I'm currently paying so that I didn't have to spend all my studentloan money on paying my mortgage and then work around 30% to get some extra money for food and stuff like that. But as it hit me today, my monthly payments have almost doubled since when I started paying so the amount I'm paying today IS the minimum amount. Which means what I need to pay is 700 NOK more than I get as a loan each month. As such, I will need to work lots to be able to afford the other bills I will need to pay, food and phone/internet bills.
So I just went from really looking forward to moving home and focusing on studies to being mildly frustrated and quite panicky. Oh well, maybe it will turn into a blessing in disguise anyway, in the long run.

I've been in a really bad mood today. Not just because of the above mentioned, but just "en general". I think I just woke up in a bad mood today. The poor guys at work have been walking on eggshells around me all day. I'm not often in a bad mood and especially not as bad as today, so I think its quite noticeable. I'm usually the one laughing and smiling and stuff. ^^ Thank god I haven't had to speak to a lot of customers at work today - talk about accident waiting to happen! :p

Besides from that, not too much happening in my life. I'm still and forever will be Queen of Procrastination and have spent the evening playing WoW instead of emptying my bookshelf, cleaning it and dismantling it as I should have. I've sold it to a guy at work, so I need to make sure it is ready for pick-up when he wants to pick it up. Maybe I'll get something done this weekend. WTB parental control for my WoW accounts! *changes password quickly before Rob reads this and actually puts parental control on*

Oh well, time to go to bed and read a few pages of my book before I pass out. I'm reading Wives & Daughters by Elizabeth Gaskell at the moment. I may review it once I'm done with it, depending on my internet-status the upcoming weeks.

*Siri*

Sims 3

2008-07-07T00:45:00.001+02:00

Oh what joy was mine when I heard the news that Sims 3 would be released in 2009. Fair enough, it is still far away, but the screenshots look amazing. Sims was one of the first computer games I played, after Theme Park and Theme Hospital, and I was hooked. I now own Sims 2 with a few expansion packs and Sims on PS2. Unfortunately, my laptop doesn't handle it anymore, but when I get a new computer, Sims 2 is definately getting installed again and maybe I'll get a few more expansion packs as well.

You can read more about The Sims 3 on its official website here:

http://thesims3.ea.com/about.php

To blog or not to blog..

2008-07-06T23:59:00.000+02:00

...That seems to be the question.
Baring your innermost thoughts on the internet seems to be high fashion now a days.
I used to have a blog a couple of years ago, but failed to find it again. All I remember that it had an X at the beginning of it which surprisingly enough doesn't help me that much. Oh well. It may come to me later. Anyways, here I am. Lets see where this wind blows and how far.

So.. what to write here...
I'm still in France with 18 or so days left until my return back to Mother Norway and the hard-knock life. I'm a bit ambivalent about the move. I've had an awesome time here and got to know some really awesome people, some I'll hope to have with me for a long time to come. I've also had some low times, feeling really unhappy with myself and surroundings. As they say, "it was the best of times, it was the worst of times".
Time here has passed surprisingly fast. It feels like just yesterday when I first stepped foot into my current workplace and in 8 work-days, I'll be taking my last steps out of it. How strange it shall be to not be a part of the conversations about our strange customers anymore. I guess I'll have to savor it while I can.

Peace!